Sexuality Coaching: Do you need some? (and saucy things you can learn)

September 4, 20154 Minutes

As a sexologist a big part of my job is to spend time with amazing people who want to solve […]

As a sexologist a big part of my job is to spend time with amazing people who want to solve their sex challenges and feel empowered as sexual beings. Sexuality coaching is fast becoming popular globally and I believe it’s an essential ingredient if you’re seeking a healthy and pleasurable sex life. So what the hell is sexuality coaching? Well, it’s about getting real with how you desire to feel and what you want to experience sexually. As a sexuality coach I give my clients tools that will empower them to move forward and create opportunities for growth and exploration. If you’re seeking more sex, and more fulfilling sex, then sexuality coaching is for you. I guess you can liken coaching to therapy, but coaching focuses on moving forward and getting what you want. What can you learn through the process of sexuality coaching with a sexologist? Lots! Below are 3 of the main challenges that my clients face on a day­to­day basis (alongside saucy stuff that they learn through dealing with that challenge):

#1 My libido has disappeared and my partner is over it

Lack of libido is common for both women and men. Life has it’s ups and downs, and so does our sex drive. There are many factors that can affect libido with the common ones being hormone changes, parenthood, lack of sleep, lack of communication, a failing relationship, boredom, death of a family member…to name a few. My number one tip for anyone who experiences this is to communicate with your partner and let them know that you’re committed to working through it. A lack of libido doesn’t have to spell the end of a relationship, but there does need to be understanding and mutual respect from both parties for it to be dealt with effectively. Never fear! Your sex drive will return!


#2 I can’t reach orgasm solely through penetrative sex

Most women can’t reach orgasm solely through penetration. 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax. It’s very important that this is taken into account when enjoying penetrative sex. To reach the big O, I recommend reaching down and touching your clit, or asking your partner to. You may also like to use a vibrator to stimulate yourself. Explore what works for you through masturbation, and then add it into sex with your partner.


#3 I want to feel like a sexy, powerful woman…but I don’t know how

What does a sexy, powerful woman look and feel like for you? Is she healthy and fit? Or is she relaxed and feminine? Every woman has a different picture of what sexy and powerful looks like, it’s up to you to paint that picture and then do whatever you can to help make yourself feel like that. Feeling this way may simply come from sexual experience (jumping in the deep end and learning what feels good for you), or it may come from increasing self­love and letting go of any shame and guilt surrounding sex. Again, every woman is different, and there is no right and wrong way to deal with this challenge.

By Juliet Allen